"Make-up can only make you look pretty on the outside but it doesn't help if your ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the make-up."

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"

"Poor empty pants with nobody inside them."

"I'm smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation."

"I think that I'm so psychotic and so mentally ill that if I could tap into that I could do something really interesting."

"If I blow my nose, it gets written all over the world."