Humour

"A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it."

"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house."

"People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?"

"The safest place to be during an earthquake would be in a stationary store."

"Meow means woof in cat."

"When the solution is simple, God is answering."

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."

"If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?"

"I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they?"

"I’m an atheist and I thank God for it."

"Animals are my friends and I don't eat my friends."

"Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it."